Why do Holidays Make Food and Body Image Anxiety so Intense?
A compassionate guide for people in eating disorder recovery
The holidays can be beautiful, but they can also feel like a spotlight shining on food, bodies, and “shoulds.” If you’re in recovery from an eating disorder, you might notice anxiety ramping up as soon as holiday discussions start or seasonal food appears everywhere. That doesn’t mean you’re doing recovery “wrong.” It means you’re human, and the holidays are A LOT!
We hope this post serves to help you navigate the season with steadiness and self-compassion. You don’t need to pretend it’s. You deserve support, not MORE pressure.
Why do holidays feel so hard in ED recovery?
Holidays combine a few ingredients that make eating disorders louder:
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More food-centered events than usual (meals, parties, gift treats).
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More comments about bodies and diets, even when people “mean well.”
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Disrupted routines—sleep, movement, work schedules, travel.
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Family dynamics that may be tender, complicated, or triggering.
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Cultural messages wrapping diet culture in tinsel (“earn your food,” “start fresh in January,” etc.).
If you’re feeling on edge, it makes sense. Your nervous system is responding to these real stressors. Here are some things you can do to care for yourself this season.
What helps?
Name what you’re feeling
Anxiety thrives in secrecy. A gentle first step is simply to notice:
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What situations are hardest for me?
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What thoughts show up?
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What emotions or body sensations come with them?
Try using neutral language, like:
“I’m noticing anxiety about this meal.”
“I’m feeling body grief today.”
“My eating disorder voice is really loud right now.”
This is not agreeing with the eating disorder; it’s acknowledging reality so you can care for yourself.
Use grounding tools in the moment
When anxiety hits, your body often goes into fight/flight/freeze/fawn. Grounding helps you come back to the present.
Here are a few options to experiment with:
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5-4-3-2-1 senses check
Name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste. -
Temperature reset
Hold a warm mug, splash cool water on your face, or step outside for fresh air. -
Anchor phrase
Pick a sentence you can repeat quietly:
“I can do hard things.”
“This feeling will pass.”
“Recovery is my priority.”
Text or call a safe person
Connection helps with regulation. You don’t have to white-knuckle it.
These tools don’t erase discomfort, but they lower the volume enough for you to choose your next step.
“Pre-gaming” – planning ahead can help decrease anxiety in the moment
Planning is not controlling. In recovery, planning can be a form of self- compassion.
Before an event
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Eat consistently earlier in the day.
Skipping meals to “prepare” almost always increases anxiety and eating disorder urges later. -
Set a time boundary if you need one.
It’s okay to plan to stay for one hour, or to leave after dessert. -
Bring or ensure access to safe foods.
Safe doesn’t mean “diet” food; it means food that supports your recovery in that moment.
During an event
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Focus on connection, not performance.
You’re not there to prove anything about how you eat or look. -
Give yourself permission to take breaks.
Bathroom, fresh air, a short walk around the block—totally allowed. -
Use “both/and” thinking.
“This is hard and I can still participate.”
“I’m anxious and I’m proud of myself for showing up.”
After an event
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Plan decompression time.
A show, a shower, journaling, calling a friend—something that helps you come down. -
Return to your regular eating.
No “compensating,” no punishing. Your body needs consistency most after stress.
Handling diet culture comments (without needing to debate)
Someone will probably say something like “I’m being so bad today!” or “I need to work this off tomorrow.” You don’t have to correct them, educate them, or absorb it.
A few neutral responses:
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“I’m focusing on enjoying the day.”
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“I’m not doing diet talk right now.”
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“Let’s talk about something else—how have you been?”
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A simple smile + topic change is also enough.
If you want to set a boundary ahead of time with family or friends, try:
“Hey, I’m working on my relationship with food. It would help me if we avoided body or diet talk around me this season.”
You’re allowed to protect your recovery.
What about all that body image noise?
Holiday photos, different clothes, travel bloating, or just being around people can stir body anxiety.
Remember:
The goal isn’t to love your body every day. The goal is to not let body hate run your life.
A recovery-supportive approach is body neutrality:
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Your body is allowed to change.
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Your worth is not tied to how you look.
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You don’t need to feel beautiful to deserve food, rest, or joy.
Try shifting the focus from appearance to experience:
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What do I want to feel this holiday?
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What matters to me besides my body?
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What memories do I want to make?
Your body is the place you live, not the price of admission.
But what if I slip up?
First: you are not back at zero. Slips are information, not failure.
Try asking:
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What was I needing that I didn’t get?
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What felt scary or overwhelming?
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What support would help next time?
Then choose a small repair:
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Eat your next meal or snack.
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Tell your therapist/dietitian/support person.
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Write down what you learned.
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Offer yourself kindness instead of consequence.
Recovery is built from returning, not from never struggling.
Remember to allow space for grief too!
Sometimes holidays highlight loss—of time, safety, relationships, or the version of life you wish you had. Eating disorders often try to numb this grief. If sadness shows up, it doesn’t mean the holidays are “ruined.” It means you’re feeling something real.
You can be in recovery and still have complicated holidays. Both can be true.
A gentle holiday reminder
You don’t owe anyone a “perfect” recovery holiday.
You don’t owe anyone a certain body.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for choosing yourself.
If all you do this season is keep showing up for your recovery—meal by meal, moment by moment—that is brave work.
You deserve to eat.
You deserve to rest.
You deserve to belong at the table, exactly as you are.
Finally, remember this – when you fall off your recovery path or experience a lapse, be gentle with yourself. Avoid black and white thinking and softly guide yourself back. Use your supports to help you!
